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How insulting can a column get when it starts out with a pair of wooden dumbbells, then quickly back-pedals by disclaiming: "Readers not included"?

Now that we’ve stated the premises, let’s proceed to the problem at hand—that of identifying the purpose for their existence. Singlely or separately they are unimportant, powerless—but when strung together or connected as shown, they take on a completely new personality and perform a simple but practical function. It’s your job to concentrate on this usage, it’s our job to confuse you and lead you astray.

Let’s start with our job: two simple wooden dumbbells working in unison and controlled by a connecting cord. Sized to fit the hand, but too light for any serious exercising. Could be they were used as physical therapy equipment to retrain dormant muscles after a long illness. The string would prevent dropping because of weakened or ineffectual hand-grip strength. 

Maybe they were a simple tie-rack for an exercise addict? How about a carnival couple’s stunt restraint when worn around the neck, like a blindfold misdirection prank? Another suggestion: playground double dumbbell toss for distance. Possibly used as a hay field scythe rest to protect the blade when not in use and lying on the ground.

This just in—an aborigine variation of a boomerang or riata, or a primitive type of ring toss game. By placing weights on them, they could create double furrows for garden planting when dragged across freshly tilled soil. 

An idle but interesting last minute thought—perhaps they were prancing pony high-stepping gait training devices (harnesses). They could also be used as tired foot and weary arch relief for ballroom marathon couples.

Wool skein storage spools for handy wall display usage would be a decorator’s approach.

What’s your approach? The answer and simple revelation next month.
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    Answer to June’s Guess What..?


Last month’s wiggly pivoting piece of black painted cast iron resembled two whales in heat and was simple to figure out IF you held it in your hand—up close. Because emblazoned on the front in raised lettering was the identifying phrase: "clothesline tightener".

We’re not always that smart, but we are sneaky. We showed the other side. If we made it too easy, you wouldn’t need us. The ends of the device have curved or grooved fingers enabling the clothesline to be strung or laced in these slots. By pulling and tightening the slacking line, you then clamped or locked the two nesting parts—which prevented slippage while maintaining its tautness.*

*Available for Acquisition 6-2000

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