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How insulting can a column
get when it starts out with a pair of wooden dumbbells, then
quickly back-pedals by disclaiming: "Readers not
included"?
Now
that we’ve stated the premises, let’s proceed to the problem
at hand—that of identifying the purpose for their existence.
Singlely or separately they are unimportant, powerless—but
when strung together or connected as shown, they take on a
completely new personality and perform a simple but practical
function. It’s your job to concentrate on this usage, it’s
our job to confuse you and lead you astray.
Let’s
start with our job: two simple wooden dumbbells working in
unison and controlled by a connecting cord. Sized to fit the
hand, but too light for any serious exercising. Could be they
were used as physical therapy equipment to retrain dormant
muscles after a long illness. The string would prevent dropping
because of weakened or ineffectual hand-grip strength.
Maybe they were a simple tie-rack for an exercise addict? How
about a carnival couple’s stunt restraint when worn around the
neck, like a blindfold misdirection prank? Another suggestion:
playground double dumbbell toss for distance. Possibly used as a
hay field scythe rest to protect the blade when not in use and
lying on the ground.
This
just in—an aborigine variation of a boomerang or riata, or a
primitive type of ring toss game. By placing weights on them,
they could create double furrows for garden planting when
dragged across freshly tilled soil.
An
idle but interesting last minute thought—perhaps they were
prancing pony high-stepping gait training devices (harnesses).
They could also be used as tired foot and weary arch relief for
ballroom marathon couples.
Wool
skein storage spools for handy wall display usage would be a
decorator’s approach.
What’s
your approach? The answer and simple revelation next month.
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